


Don't Trust Yourself

by danvssomethingorother



Series: AU-Verse [3]
Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Blue Morpho is Rusty's adopted dad, M/M, Multi, also Malcom and Rusty are brothers in this, he took AU Rusty from Jonas for being a bad parent, i am in too deep, implied mental health issues and past suicide attempt, my version of AU Rusty, this is it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-15 00:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danvssomethingorother/pseuds/danvssomethingorother
Summary: Rusty was alright with the murder attempt, maybe it was understandable in some strange way to try to kill another version of yourself but he’s not just fine with the constant insults and this man hitting on his Brock.Just a day in the life of Rusty Venture, former boy adventurer though, for better or worse.(AKA my AU version of what happened when canon Rusty fell into the AU universe in Bright Light, Dean City)





	1. p1

“What’s the big deal? I mean we are technically married…”

Rusty was seething, that pig of a man could only wish he was married to his Brock, it was only pure coincidence they happened to be the same person. His counterpart was a pathetic loser who could only wish Brock would give him the time or day.

He tried to shut them off as he worked, he needed to fix the portal to get rid of this man, but just the simple fact that someone else was hitting on his Brock was setting him off because of course he had an equal chance of getting with him, he was still Rusty Venture after all, the man Brock did technically marry.

“I could do things that stick in the mud would never do.”

Despite telling himself to not glance over at the temporary holding cell, he did anyway.

He was casually leaning against decontamination shower they had hastily turned into a holding cell until they could figure this out, until Rusty could get rid of his evil, less attractive doppelganger. His counterpart was getting on his last nerve, giving his husband the bedroom eyes and he was frowning harder seeing Brock’s smug look, he found him amusing. 

“I wouldn’t be a selfish lover, unlike some people, I would give you everything. You ever been—”

Rusty was saved from whatever inane thing his counterpart was about to say by the door banging open and the sound of Pete and Billy arguing began to echo on their way down the stairway.

“I’m pretty sure our world would have already imploded if touching each other was all it took for the end of both worlds.” 

Rusty had never been more relieved to hear Pete’s snark, he took a hesitant glance towards Brock who shrugged indicating he had it covered before he met his friends at the staircase.

Pete hissed as he caught site of the large bruise his counterpart had given him earlier with his murder attempt. Rusty gave him an even glare but didn’t stop his friend from moving his hair to get a better look at the swollen, ugly bruise on the edge of the right side of his forehead.

“So, I’m gonna guess he comes from the evil dimension,” he finally said with a chuckle as Rusty knocked his hand away. 

“More like the crass and asinine dimension,” Rusty grumbled side eying his counterpart mouthing dirty things to his husband that made his blood boil. 

“Cheer up, Pally,” he said patting his friend on the shoulder taking a peak over at the containment center, “You are the hottest Rusty Venture out there and that’s all that matters.”

“Like that is a surprise,” Rusty snorted to his friend, “I didn’t spend all that money on health and beauty bull shit over the years to be ranked second to anyone, let alone someone claiming to be me.”

“So what? We dealing with a wormhole?” Billy chimed in unable to contain his excitement at the mere prospect of finally dealing with proof there were other dimensions. Rusty rolled his eyes seeing him practically vibrating in his excitement.

“If there was one, it didn’t stick around,” Rusty said with a shake of his head, “Brock and I tried to get answers from the idiot, but he didn’t know much about it either.” 

“Do you have the security footage?”

Rusty groaned and shook his head at Billy who was giving him that look, that accusing look.

“What do you take me for? Of course, I have the security footage.”

“You know what I meant,” Billy whined and Pete chuckled messing with his fiancé’s hair seeing him getting worked up and flustered, “I mean it was a traumatic experience, it wouldn’t be like the end of the world if we had to go get it.” 

“It was hardly traumatic,” Rusty stated firmly pivoting away from Billy’s annoyed look and leading them back to his work bench, “It was an annoyance and that is all.”

He saw his friends didn’t believe this but Rusty had spent so many years knocking himself down before he was able to pick himself up, it just felt like a relapse. Not a real threat on his life or anything to worry about but something to be expected over the years.

This certainly was different from having an off mental day, his counterpart wasn’t just a nasty thought, he was his worst thoughts and feelings in the flesh and blood, something that could hurt him. Someone who had already tried to kill him, yet, it didn’t feel like something as scary. As out of his control.

It was an unplanned arch, an appointment not planned in advance making him late for his performance, it was a hinderance and an annoyance, nothing he would call traumatic as Billy seemed to want him to.

He side-eyed Brock’s calm composure and amused smile at another dirty suggestion from his counterpart (that wasn’t too off from the things he had whispered to Brock himself), his face hardened but he kept his own composure. He didn’t know if he was more frustrated with his counterpart or his husband at the moment. The man’s job was to protect him and yet he wasn’t that concerned another version of him had hit him with a rock earlier today. Maybe it was just because it was another version of Rusty he was so casual about this, Rusty didn’t know but he didn’t like that he was just allowing this man to talk to him like this. 

“Are you jealous?” Pete snickered sitting on the table and making Rusty’s stare harden more into a glare seeing his friend’s butt on his important documents he still needed to go over.

“What is there to be jealous of?” Rusty replied evenly pulling his tablet up and pulling the security records he had downloaded there earlier as Billy finally sat down after nearly breaking his neck craning it so hard in the direction of Brock and his counterpart.

“Are you sure he’s not you from the future? That guys looks 20 years older then you.”

“I’m positive he’s not,” Rusty said smoothly passing the tablet to Pete who instantly snatched it from his hands, “We are actually the same age, if you will believe it.”

“I won’t,” Billy said giving Rusty a hard stare, “I don’t even know how you are the same person.”

“I don’t know,” Pete said tilting his head enough to get a better look at his friend’s counterpart, “I can see it. That is your future Rust, washed up has been who never quite left the seventies.”

“Says the has been who never left the eighties…”

“Ouch,” Pete said with a grimace, making Rusty smirk a bit as his hand hit his chest in mock hurt.

“Come on, he has to have been here telling you how you fuck up the future, right? Your big invention finally went wrong and brings on the apocalypse. That’s it isn’t it?”

Rusty cut off Billy’s inane theories with a pointed glare making Billy turn red and Pete begin to snicker before giving him a gentle peck on his massive forehead making him turn redder. 

“Just watch the security footage,” Rusty hissed firmly killing any questions before they could form in his friends’ heads, “Then we need to get to work on getting rid of the problem.”


	2. P2

Half covered up by discarded, crumpled paper sat Rusty’s wedding picture, they had gotten married during the Spanakopita festival four years ago after almost fifteen years of playing coy about their feelings for one another.

Fifteen years of pining and one night stands they claimed meant nothing. Through all the lovers that came and went from their lives and the slew of assassination attempts on Rusty’s life from arches who came and went. Both renouncing the OSI together and joining up with Spinx to try to make a positive change on the world. Or he hoped it was a positive change in his life anyway, he had yet to tell his adopted family about of that for a reason, not wanting them to worry after the mess with the OSI he had gotten into a few months back....

He and Brock had taken so many leaps of faith together in the years they had known each other and yet here he was feeling like he could lose him to that man (technically himself).

Rusty tried to remind himself of these things as he watched Billy arguing with White over proper safety precautions of using a torch so he could weld together the portal (again) and take it for yet another test run. 

“You are really just going to wear plastic goggles while welding?” Pete mumbled folding his arms.

“Do you know how hard it is to find a welding mask that fits my head type?”

“Rust, tell him he can’t use plastic goggles to weld!”

“Billy, you don’t want to lose your eye,” Rusty sighed rising from his chair and walking back over to the work area, “I’ll do it. Just go, do something.”

“You guys are being freaky worry warts,” Billy groused loudly, “I’m not a child!”

“Says the guy who has been milking that child surgeon card for what? Twenty years?”

“Twenty-four years,” Pete corrects firmly a large shit eating grin on his face that made Billy glare at the man.

“So, which one of you geniuses told Hunter we kinda sorta did exactly what she told us not to do,” Billy sneered at the snickering men making both of them instantly sober.

Rusty had thought of their commander once or twice after his doppelganger had tried to murder him and had only thought deep enough to making sure she didn’t find out the proof of alternate dimensions they had been looking for had been found. After their own device had exploded, Rusty had initially thought of throwing in the towel, curiosity was no reason to get on Hunter’s bad side, Rusty was fully aware of what could happen with that since Spinx had no safety nets like the OSI or Guild being an underground organization.

Rusty just set the torch down, all three of them looking awkwardly between one another.

“Well, we could just tell her the truth if she finds out,” Pete said with a sheepish smile.

“And she will just buy that coincidentally another Rusty Venture fell out of thin air and attempted to murder me in my office?”

Rusty had been in tight spots before but even with Brock’s reassurances that Hunter wouldn’t maim him when she found out about this, he couldn’t help the worry. After the last mission failed because of his prototype, anything was possible.

He had another reason to hate his counterpart, he was about to put more wear and tear on his already strained relationship with his commanding officer. 

“We’ll just do what we always did in college,” Pete finally said putting on a shaky smile trying to lighten the mood again.

“You can not compare this to us flushing all the drugs before the rooms were inspected or my dad came by…”

“I can and I will,” Pete said firmly pulling Billy and Rusty close to him, “We won’t tell anyone and we’ll keep this to ourselves and if anyone comes knocking we can always kill the extra Rusty before anyone is the wiser.”

Rusty gave him a smug grin not hating the idea, he even had his own preferred methods of killing the spare but Billy, being the morally sound one of the three was quick to object.

“No! What are you two insane?!” Billy hissed pulling away from his two friends disgusted they were pretty alright with the thought of murdering an alternate version of Rusty Venture. 

“You can not kill your alternate self!”

“Why not?” Rusty asked keeping his expression dead pan and raising one eyebrow for dramatic effect but it was getting harder and harder to keep from smiling at Billy’s overblown expressions.

“Why not? What you want me spell out why it’s bad?!”

“I don’t see anything wrong with just washing our hands of the evil Rusty, I mean come on he tried to kill our friend and he may be the reason Hunter finally does it instead of just threatening to do it.”

Rusty finally cracked a smile at how Pete was just messing with his boyfriend now but at the angry look Billy was shooting him he easily added.

“If ya know, its necessary and we can’t make our own dimensional portal or whatever.”

“Oh my god, I really have to spell out to you idiots why it’s a bad idea to murder another person.”

“Not another person, another me who probably had it coming.”

“Fine, whatever, another you, even killing yourself is bad, Rust.”

Rusty winced a little at the way Billy said it, giving away his own discomfort the way he gently tugged at his sleeve where old scars lied. Pete glared at Billy resting his hand on his friend’s shoulder and Billy sighed giving him an apologetic glance but he didn’t seem to be done scolding them either. He just sighed loudly pinching the bridge of his nose as he continued on with his point.

“And oh my god, do I need to spell out why killing your alternate self could potentially be bad?? It could I don’t know cause a rift in the universe. Cause who knows what kind of paradox!” 

Rusty rolled his eyes, pulling away from Pete and sighing just as loudly Billy’s way, crossing his arms as he looked at him evenly.

“That’s time travel, not multi-dimensional travel….” 

Billy cut him off half shoving his finger in his face, standing on tip toes to reach his friend making him frown deeper. He shot a look towards Pete, almost in warning that he would shove his fiancé down, but Pete just gave him a smile knowing he wouldn’t.

“It does not matter! We don’t know what effects that could have on our reality as we know it! Besides, the other you probably has a family that loves him. How would your kids feel if that guy just killed you?”

Rusty sighed and rolled his eyes, that guy did try to kill him and he didn’t seem too sad about the attempt, he went right to trying to get into his husband’s pants after the attempt.


	3. P3

There was a time in his life where he couldn’t face anything sober.

He had gotten in trouble with more then just the law, he had ultimately just ended up accidentally hurting the people in his life more then he was hurting himself consuming anything he could get his hands on to get rid of the pain.

He had vowed to never do that shit after a long talk with his other father Don Fitzcarraldo after the birth of his own sons. 

Dealing with this man for hours on end, he wondered how much trouble he would be in with his brother if he just popped a few dozen Xanax just to keep himself from jumping across the table and strangling himself.

“It can be agreed he’s too stupid to have made his own Interdimensional Portal and is no use in making ours, right?”

Rusty groaned tossing his glasses across the kitchen table and rubbing his eyes harder, he would kill for a drink right now. Pete and Billy looked just as aggravated and annoyed about the situation across from him, their collective notes scattered and crumpled across the table.

They needed a break from the lab, asking the evil clone for assistance in the project had been a stupid idea and Rusty felt like berating Billy more for even suggesting it but kept his mouth shut.

“He’s not too stupid,” Billy grumbled reading over some of the notes scattered across the table, “And that’s exactly the problem. He’s capable and smart enough to help us but he’s an asshole.”

“Just sayin’, he doesn’t exist in this universe, we have the good Rusty, we could just ---”

Billy shot Pete a deadly glare at his suggestion of ‘getting rid of the problem the easy way’ again instead of adding anything of value to the talk.

“I know where Wide Whale dumps his bodies,” Rusty grumbled sharing a smile with Pete as Billy kept glaring at them, “Malcom could help us get rid of the evidence properly ---”

“NO!” Billy yelled slamming his hands against the table, “We are not getting your vigilante brother involved in this shit!”

“’Cause he would yell at us,” Pete said with a snicker and Rusty instantly sobered the smile falling from his face.

He hadn’t told his brother or his father about any of this. He didn’t want it getting out at all, but his family was a family of vigilantes not connected to the OSI, Spinx or any organization, if he needed help they were the best choice. 

He couldn’t do it to his dad though. Don Fitzcarraldo had dealt with enough shit because of the Venture family and he was no exception to that rule. He didn’t want to break his heart again telling him he had technically almost killed himself again (in a sense). He doubted the evil clone had to go through that talk with the poor man who loved him when no one else would or he wouldn’t have tried to kill his own alternate self knowing their dad lived in fear of losing him.

His stomach twisted in knots just thinking of telling him about this shit. He couldn’t bear to see him cry (again, always because of him and his bad decisions). He promised he would stop getting himself into danger like that. He just couldn’t put his dad through anymore of his poor life decisions.

“You’re right Billy,” Rusty finally sighed out, resting his head against the table feeling suddenly exhausted about this entire ordeal.

“Your dad might have like a heart attack finding out we have another you and he would be even more upset you two want to just kill him!”

Rusty hated Billy was playing the dad card now, he knew Rusty would try to play it his way just being reminded of his poor dad.

“The evil me started it…”

“Oh will you get over yourself! Like you would have been any better finding another you in your house!”

They settled into an awkward silence all three knowing how Don Fitzcarraldo would react to this situation. He would be mad they are hiding things from him and madder at Rusty for putting himself in danger. He had promised after the last time things got out of hand like this he was going to stop, no more dangerous super science, his adopted father didn’t even know about Spinx and he intended to keep it that way as long as possible.

“I’m going to drink an entire pot of coffee,” Rusty grumbled getting up from his seat at the table, “When I get done, its back to work.”

“Make two pots, I want to be awake to watch you murder yerself,” Pete said with a large shit eating grin directed at Billy. He kissed him playfully on the forehead when he opened his mouth to chastise him again.

\---

“I told you idiots everything,” his counterpart scoffed and Rusty’s teeth were already grinding, Brock gently placed his hands on his shoulders to keep him from flying across the table.

He caught eyes with Pete who rolled his eyes, slumping into his chair going back to doodling what looked like a play list that had nothing to do with the matter at hand. Rusty glared at him, he was planning his wedding. He had given up on getting anywhere with the evil twin.

Billy was sharing a look with Brock, Rusty wasn’t quite sure what they were trying to communicate but the way Billy’s annoyed stare went from one Rusty to the other and then back to Brock, he knew it was about him.

“Dr. Venture,” Billy began evenly sending a warning glare Rusty’s way then Pete’s way at his snicker, “You are not making this easy name calling. We are only trying to help ---”

“That’s a laugh, you clowns aren’t doing anything to help the situation.”

Rusty had to wonder if he himself sounded like this, negative, whiny, unhelpful. He glanced up at his husband who was still firmly grasping his shoulders, he knew him too well. If his counterpart could so easily want to murder him without second thought without knowing him, he wanted to do the same after getting to know his alternate self a little too well.

“Considering you tried to murder me in my own home, just consider yourself lucky you are alive at all.”

Both Rustys were glaring at each other now, Billy just groaned loudly giving up, head finally hitting the table.

Brock was tightening his hold on his husband and the safety precaution handcuffs were keeping the other Rusty in place as well. When Rusty had gotten bad when he was younger, after he was taken away from Jonas for good, his other father had made him see a therapist. He often told him his depression and fears were just a nasty part of himself that he needed to learn to control through a positive attitude, he wondered if that hack would have found any this funny, his metaphor was very literal at the moment.

“Oh,” his evil clone hissed making Billy groan louder sensing the fight and Brock gently begin to message his husband’s shoulders feeling them tense hard.

“This is rich, trying to act like you are the good ones here.” 

He yanked up his bound hands trying make a point, leveling a glare at himself. Rusty would never find himself used to this nonsense. Why did he ever want to travel through dimensions anyway? Coming face to face with an inferior version of yourself was the most obnoxious thing that had ever happened to him. He once was kidnapped three days by Wide Whale and had been forced to play mad libs with his idiot second for days on end but that was never going to be as annoying as this shit.

“Do you ever know how to shut up?” Rusty found himself hissing, trying and failing to rise from his seat but his husband held him in place.

They were glaring at each other now, both their teeth grinding in unison. It was easy to say they were different people, but they were both Rusty Venture. Maybe define a little differently, maybe with different experiences but at their core they were the same. Same impatience, same self-hatred. The only thing keeping them apart now was Brock.

“I think we all need to take a breather ---”

“Can it Billy!” Both shot at Billy making him sink into his seat, hands shaking hard in frustration.

“I don’t even see why you bothered bringing to your stupid brain storm session,” his counterpart hissed, “You don’t even listen. I had nothing to do with this mess.”

“As explained to you,” Rusty began, each word a time bomb ready to go off, “We don’t think you are smart enough to have done this on your own.”

“Oh my god,” Billy moaned loudly knowing his friend was intentionally picking a fight when he wanted them all to work together on this. 

“Well if I’m such an idiot to you, toss me back in the holding cell, let me rot there cause you clowns aren’t getting me back to my dimension any time soon.”

The other him threw himself dramatically into his chair and Rusty knew if his hands weren’t cuffed he would be folding them like he was doing now, unable to do much else with Brock holding him as tight as he was.

“You are hardly rotting,” Rusty sneered back at him, “If anything I am being generous letting you stay in my panic room.”

He paused a moment while his other half glared harder at him, a devilish smile creeping as he added.

“Its probably the only luxurious thing you have ever seen.”

Billy loudly cleared his throat, not impressed with what was going on. Rusty demeaning and picking fights with himself must have seemed strange to him. He had only seen his friend’s confident side, Pete however looked worried. He had been there for every relapse in college, he knew the story about why he was taken from Jonas, he knew this was almost a physical manifestation of the demons that lurked behind the wall he had built over the years. 

“Dr. Venture,” Billy cut in louder this time cutting off the pissing contest before it could get worse, “We all need to work together. If we all use our skills together, we can get you home faster.”

Neither Rusty was quite ready to listen to reason, both glaring at each other, ignoring Billy entirely now.

“We all need to cooperate together so you can finally return home,” Billy tried again more firmly looking from one Rusty to the other.

“Not that you probably have much to return to,” Rusty mumbled but his pot shot was heard loud and clear. Billy growled loudly, head hitting the table as he finally gave up, mumbling as such as both Rustys began screaming insults at each other.

Both claiming they were somehow the better Rusty, both having their own faulty reasoning they both knew neither really believed.

If not for Brock and for the restraints they would both be strangling each other and everyone in the room knew this too well.

The shouting match was put to an end as the door to the conference room they were in was thrown open and Rusty flinched hard being caught in yet another strange situation by his brother.

“Rusty, what the fuck is going on??”


	4. Chapter 4

Malcom’s grip only seemed to tighten on his arm the farther he dragged his brother up the stairs. Rusty could feel his anger at him, it was pouring off him in waves, if he were capable of it, Rusty knew his brother would be on fire now.

“Malcom…” he grunted out, tugging at his arm but his brother didn’t loosen his hold.

“Rusty….you are killing me,” he finally sighed out deflating as they reached the top of the stairway, finally back in the penthouse.

No matter how far in life he went he would always circle back to being here, fucking up and disappointing someone he loved. By the slouch in his brother’s shoulders, he knew he was hurt by this, whatever brought him here. Rusty was sure him walking in on yet another weird chapter of his brother’s strange life wasn’t helping things much.

“Malcom,” he said softer placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder, hesitantly placing himself closer to his younger brother, testing his limit. Wondering how close he even wanted him right now.

He didn’t answer him, his lips pinching hard as if sealing away the angry insult he had for him about whatever was going on in the lab.

They stepped further into the Penthouse and Rusty knew exactly why he was containing his anger seeing Dean leaning against the back of the couch laughing loudly. Malcom’s wife Shelia smiling fondly at his story about his best friend (who Rusty always suspected might become a little more one day). 

“You stay away from the whole crime fighting thing yourself,” the woman said sternly to her nephew and Rusty had to agree with her. He didn’t know what he would do if his children ever entered this dangerous life style, it was almost a birth right at this point. Rusty knew the day was going to come they would be in danger but just didn’t know if he could handle it.

Between his own enemies, his brother’s foes, his adopted father’s still bitter rivals and the horde of crazed weirdos Jonas wronged, Rusty had enough sleepless nights worrying about his sons without them adding more people to that list.

“I won’t…” Dean trailed off turning a large, bright smile towards his father and uncle.

“You look awful, Pop,” Dean said with a frown taking in his father, “Have you been in the lab all day?”

Rusty smiled sheepishly and opened his mouth to respond but Malcom cut him off curtly.

“Yer dad has been in the lab three days straight, I’m making him take a break, so don’t worry about it much, Deanie.”

“Pop…” Dean said frowning, “You said you were giving up super science and going to focus solely on your theater.”

“I am sweetie,” he said taking a deep breath, “I just need to finish a few things before I close shop for good.”

It was a lie one Shelia and Malcom saw right through giving him hard stares but Dean, ever trusting Dean smiled brightly pulling his dad into a tight hug. Super science was the root to all pain, Rusty had known this since he was three. His father taught him that lesson well and while he never wanted or intended to, years of having to watch their father get kidnapped and even a few kidnappings he couldn’t safeguard his sons from well enough, he knew his sons had learned that lesson too.

Rusty hated himself for admitting it but he was a little addicted to the thrill of it all, if he wasn’t going to fulfill orders for the OSI any longer because of the orb incident, he was going to do it for Spinx. His boys didn’t need to know that, his poor broken-hearted adopted father didn’t know that and he hoped Malcom would let it keep going that way.

“Oh my gosh!” Dean finally gasped out, reaching out to touch his dad’s forehead, “That is a huge bruise!”

“Its---” Rusty’s reassurance was cut off by his brother’s low growl.

“Yer dad has an evil clone in the lab,” he said making Shelia glance their way but her neutral stare told it all, she knew. She checked the security footage before Rusty was able to delete it all. A cold feeling crept into Rusty’s stomach, who else knew then?

“He’s more like a dimensional traveler, isn’t he Dr. Venture?” Shelia cut in, keeping an even stare on him, “Now the OSI wouldn’t allow that, so I have to wonder who you are working for now who would let such a device come into existence.”

Rusty bit his tongue to not say something he would regret in front of Dean who was already looking concerned glancing from his aunt then back to his father. 

“For once, I’m not lying when I say it wasn’t me,” Rusty said firmly gently pulling his son close to him and reassuringly running his fingers through his hair, he could feel the worry pouring from his son like sweat. Dean was always the anxious one, always had been.

“Well I mean not technically me,” he said with a hollow laugh pulling away from Dean, “The other me did this but I assure you, we are handling the problem.”

Shelia didn’t seem to believe that but wisely kept her opinions to herself. Dean was giving his father a worried enough look, biting his lip nervously just staring at him. Rusty wanted to say something to reassure his son, but as good of an actor as he might be, there was no prewritten script in real life. Coming up with good excuses took time and Dean was too good at reading between the lines and finding the truth.

“Do you need help, Dad?” Dean asked hesitantly just staring at him, silently begging him to let him help. To stop pushing him away when he did dangerous things, he was old enough to handle it.

Rusty would never be old enough to handle putting his child in danger, he watched his son’s heart break as he shook his head.

“No, you should focus on your studies, sweetie, you have finals soon.” 

“Alright,” Dean sighed, defeated just heading towards his room. Maybe he was treating them like children still keeping parts of his life from them but considering the debacle he and Brock had just lived through, he didn’t want to chance anything when it came to his children even if they thought he was shoving them away.

“Smooth Rust,” Malcom grumbled not dropping the glare he had been directing at him.

“Why are you even here, Mal?” he grumbled glancing up at his younger brother, “I need---”

“You need to get your shit together and tell me what is actually going on this damn time,” Malcom cut him off, making Rusty’s shoulders scrunch down, he had seen Malcom angry before but the anger was never directed on him. He knew his brother would never hurt him but it reminded him a little too much of vulnerable positions he had been shoved into in the past. 

“I don’t know wha---”

“We want,” Shelia cut him off rising from her spot on the couch and moving towards him making him scowl as she jabbed him in the chest, “You need to stop hiding shit from us. We can not work as a team when you are constantly working against us and hiding shit. We aren’t gonna keep dropping everything to go save you. We aren’t going to keep playing your god damn games.”

Rusty crossed his arms his signature scowl settling, he had always been described as dramatic and well he had been acting since he was shoved in front of the cameras at three.

“We are not a team and I don’t need you to save me.”

“Oh really?” Malcom snarled at his brother while his wife sighed loudly moving towards the mini bar to pour herself a drink, knowing they were in for a long fight.

“That was the entire point of Brock being assigned to me,” he hissed at his brother, “I chose not to be a vigilante.”

“No, dad wouldn’t let you so instead you just go behind our backs to do stupid shit!” Malcom corrected him firmly, his glare deepening.

Rusty didn’t say anything, that wasn’t wrong. Dad wouldn’t have let him become the next Blue Morpho, but Rusty always suspected that bothered Malcom more then it bothered Rusty. Rusty knew he never quite fit in being forced into a family that his second father had wronged by going behind their backs to be with Jonas. He knew his brother loved him, how could they not after all they had been through together? But on some deeper level, he knew his brother resented him just a little. On some level their relationship had to have been built on spite because of Jonas and his involvement in both of their births.

“Malcom, I have this covered,” Rusty finally sighed, “We are working on getting rid of the evil me and it will all be done with.”

“This is more like a second head ache you didn’t bother to tell us about,” Shelia groaned out annoyed as ever at his antics, “I want to know what the hell you are doing joining Hunter’s little under ground group.”

“How are you not smart enough to know this is a dumb idea?” Malcom hissed taking a step towards his brother, making him recoil on instinct, back hitting against the back of the couch. 

Both looked away from each other, stewing in their new-found anger for each other. Rusty looked away, he could tell his brother was finally done. He was finally at his limit of dealing with his brother’s secrets and lies. He had inherited the habit from both his fathers and the life they had introduced him to at a young age. It wasn’t an excuse Malcom liked to hear though and they had been in enough fights for Rusty to know this well enough to not bother opening his mouth.

“I’m done bailing you out and playing your games, Rust,” Malcom finally sighed out, deflating and backing away from his brother, “Tell me if I am just wasting my time with you.”

Rusty gave him his answer when he sighed and shook his head, turning his head away from his brother. 

Malcom looked ready to hit something, he was still mad about the entire Orb situation and how it lead to one of his friends dying protecting his idiot brother from the OSI. Rusty didn’t personally know him, he had a number as a code name, some kind of former henchman from what he later gathered. Malcom took it hard though and Rusty did feel some guilt that one of his new allies had to die just because he kept his brother in the dark about him digging up Jonas’s old mistakes on almost a whim.

Rusty wondered why he didn’t just cut him out, why he didn’t hate him. Rusty had never dropped as much as his brother had just for him.

“I think you are wasting your time, Malcom,” Rusty responded earnestly with a shrug and he glanced away from the hurt on his brother’s face and the anger on his wife’s face. Pete was going to have fun cleaning up the mess she was about to do to their computer systems.

Malcom snarled loudly throwing his hands up in the air, just as dramatic as his own brother. 

“You know what your god damn problem is Rusty?”

Rusty didn’t answer knowing his brother was going to go on anyway as soon as he felt his finger jab him hard into his chest.

“You only think about your god damn self and how everything affects you, you don’t give a shit how it affects anyone around you. You just lie and hide everything from your family, you keep us out of the loop of what you are doing and only tell us when its convenient to you, when we need to drop everything to go save your ass. I don’t even think you would do the god damn same for anyone else, so why I waste my time doing this shit is the real mystery here.”

Rusty was practically mouthing this speech in the back of his mind while his face remained neutral, he had heard this before. This hadn’t been the first time he and Malcom had fought over him keeping things from him.

The next part made even Shelia’s eyes widen in surprise and Rusty felt himself instantly depress into the couch, eyes wide as saucers.

“You know what? You are god damn no better then Jonas and I’m going to do the thing dad should have done, I’m done. I’m leaving. I’m not wasting my time on your games anymore Rusty.”

Malcom left without another word but he didn’t need to say anything else, that hurt Rusty more then even a physical strike. He could have slapped him in the face, he could have just stabbed him and it would hurt less then the sinking feeling his brother left him with.

\----

Needing fresh air, Rusty finally left the living room where he had been sitting staring at the wall and headed to the pool and patio area.

Rusty walked over to the grill, opening the custom built in smoker Brock had to have last summer and smiled finding that carton of cigarettes his husband had promised Dean he threw out.

He hadn’t truly smoked since college, only taking it in second hand from Brock and the string of lovers he had left behind over the years, but like most bad habits they had a way of finding him when he needed a helping hand.

He used the striker Brock never brought in after he got done after playing with his toy, thankful for once it was out here as he lit up his upcoming addiction.

The taste of bitterness and regret, god he missed it. He hadn’t lit one up since that night in college Jonas had found a way to contact him, tried to tell a sob story about how he was sorry. 

He exhaled a puff of smoke as he groaned loudly and dramatically, leaning against the balcony, looking down at the bustling city.

Where had the time gone? He pondered staring at the setting sun. The lab, arguing with himself, dealing with his brother, the day had dwindled away just as fast as his first cigarette in 20 years. He crushed the bud between his fingers and flicked it off the side of the building, leaving no evidence.

Dean had been crying for Brock to stop since he was 12 and got his first propaganda from the school, Rusty highly doubted he would be happy with his maternal father indulging in the habit.

“Someone’s gonna be in trouble,” he didn’t turn around to face his friend, he just watched the sun continue to sink behind Tophet Tower, dying to let the night sky come alive.

“Dean is already upset with me,” Rusty sighed, “He just doesn’t get why I don’t want him dealing with super science.”

“A fickle bunch ya got for a family, pally,” Pete chuckled settling beside his friend and glancing over the side of the building.

“Did you get much done when I left?”

“Nah,” Pete said with a shrug, “Rusty Venture of any damn dimension is stubborn. I think I kinda like him, he’s kinda cute. Like those ugly hairless cats, maybe we can keep him.”

Rusty tilted his finest glare in his friend’s direction making him laugh, shoving him making him drop the forced attitude. Of course Pete kinda liked the other him, it was him. They were the same person with the same flaws, one was just better at covering them up.

“So, get this,” Pete says, “I’m pretty damn sure Malcom is a villain in his dimension.”

“My brother?” Rusty scoffed, “No way. Dad would have beat his ass for even considering joining up with the Guild.”

“He seemed convinced yer brother was this fella named ‘The Monarch’,” Pete snickered.

“How did this conversation come about?” Rusty titled his head towards Pete who was giving him a smug, shit eating grin. Whatever he was about to say, he was going to hate it and Pete loved it.

“Well after your bro dragged you out, Brock got mad and Billy had to talk him down from marching up there.”

Rusty gave Pete a suspicious stare at that, it always took a little more then Billy to get Brock to back down.

“Alright, it wasn’t Billy, it was you who technically talked Brock down.”

Rusty’s glare intensified and Pete squirmed a little side stepping away from his friend, out of range of being shoved off a building in one of Rusty’s moods. 

Rusty lit up another cigarette as Pete began telling him how well he thought the other him and Brock got along. It was really no different then him interacting with his husband, once he had left the room, the cuffs had even come off while the two got chummy.

Maybe Rusty didn’t want to hear his friend, so he began tuning him out while he rambled about the other him and Brock and how everyone just got along so well when he was gone.

He exhaled smoke along with his feelings letting numbness set in.

He was already beginning to reevaluate who the evil of the two was, he had spent his entire life trying to not be Jonas, to be better then him.

Maybe, just maybe, he was this universe’s new Jonas Venture while the loser in the cell got to keep his sense of self and remain Rusty Venture, boy adventurer just by never making it. Never having the opportunity to become the monster that lurked in his nightmares.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So this was one of the first parts I wrote before I decided to put in deep lore stuff into the fic and honestly it shows...but I just like Hank and Rusty getting along so I kept it ;.;))

“Hey Pop.”

“Hank,” Rusty said as gently as he could despite the foul mood he was in currently. He smiled at his son as he sat next to him and just sat there watching his father in concern as he fumed silently taking another drink of his Doctai.

He knew his family didn’t like watching him drink, he tried to say he didn’t have a problem but they all knew that wasn’t entirely true. One drink to relax on a hard night was one thing, but he had nearly ten drinks by now. He knew he had been indulging in the bad habit more then he should but he wasn’t going to be sleeping with the renewed fears of becoming his father in his head and he wasn’t getting any work done. So what the hell, forty-three was still young, might as well live life, have a drink and not worry too much about the thoughts in your head.

“Are you like ok?”

Rusty just shook his head at his son’s concern and gave him that award winning smile that had won him two Tonys, two years in a row.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” he said smoothly taking another drink, “The problem is being solved.”

“I don’t care about the project,” Hank grumbled folding his arms, “You haven’t left the lab in like a week and when you do you drink a lot. Is your evil twin like turning you into an alcoholic?”

Rusty sighed deciding to set aside his drink entirely, what was he doing? 

“I heard you were fighting with Uncle Malcom again....”

Rusty said nothing, shrugging feeling more like the teenager here then his actual teenage son. He hadn’t talked to his brother in days and knew it would be the last time he saw him for awhile, maybe it was for the best. Their relationship had been complicated since the day he was born, Jonas made their relationship complicated from the start. Rusty was the result of Don’s cheating and Malcom was the result of his mom’s cheating. Ironically both with Jonas, it was always Jonas. 

“Me and Mal will be fine,” he lied easily picking his drink back up and downing it with one gulp, “Don’t worry about it.”

Hank looked far from convinced just glaring at his dad as he got up to make another drink.

“Maybe you should just apologize, its really dumb to fight over this. Uncle Mal could like help you get rid of the evil clone---”

“Its fine,” Rusty said more testily then he wanted to, making Hank jump a little as he slammed the bottle down after pouring himself some whiskey. He sighed sitting back next to his son, trying to lighten the mood changing the subject. Trying to make a joke out of the situation.

“Don’t go tell Brock I have been drinking,” he moaned sinking into the couch cushions further, “I won’t hear the end of it.”

“I’m pretty sure he already knows,” Hank snickered as his father childishly stuck his tongue out at him.

“There really isn’t much he doesn’t know.”

“Tell me about it, I was with Sirena last night and he called making me come home right before her dad got home!”

“Its his super power, he always knows when a Venture is doing something dumb,” Rusty paused taking in what his son had just told him, “What have we told you about being with that girl? Do you have any idea what her father does to her boyfriends??”

“I’m not afraid of him,” Hank said crossing his arms and pouting, father and son looking almost identical in their childish postures.

“He held poor Jared hostage for days and made him aware of the fact he didn’t like him with his daughter, I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“Oh, like you didn’t make mistakes when you were younger, Uncle Pete told me about your crazy exes before you got with Brock.”

Rusty thought of Myra and grimaced, fingers scratching against the burn on his right shoulder. He didn’t know if almost being burned alive by your ex was comparable to dating a mob boss’s daughter, but he vowed long ago his sons wouldn’t have to live through the kind of trauma he had gone through and he would kill Wide Whale himself if he had to.

“You don’t want a relationship like that, babe,” Rusty mumbled cupping his son’s cheek and making him look at him, “I never want you to know how that feels. Just be careful.”

Rusty sighed hating the deep anxiety on his son’s face and gently patted his cheek before kissing him on the forehead.

“Get it together, Hank, don’t make your father have a reason to kill this girl’s dad.” 

Hank opened his mouth to argue but Rusty just shook his head ruffling his son’s shaggy blonde hair as he rose from the couch.

“Its my job to worry about you, not the other way around,” he said firmly, “Unless you plan on joining Wide Whale’s crime family, stop trying to mess around with that girl.”

Hank didn’t say anything still giving him that concerned stare and Rusty just smiled kissing him on the forehead making his face go from concern to disgust in a matter of seconds. Teenagers were easy to sway, if you wanted them to get their mind off what you were doing, just show them any sort of affection to make them more embarrassed then upset with you.  
“Where is Brock? I fully expected him up here by now.”

“He’s probably giving your evil twin his bucket of fish heads.”

“They upgraded the gremlin to having real food because its inhumane to feed your evil counterpart fish heads,” Rusty joked over exaggerating his expression and body movements to make his son laugh. 

“Dean turned out fine on that diet.”

“But I made a mistake, I fed the wrong twin fish heads…” Rusty sighed making Hank scowl at being called the evil twin of the two.


	6. Chapter 6

Rusty swayed a little on his way to the panic room where they were temporarily holding his counterpart.

He leaned against the wall a minute to swallow the nausea, he hated to admit it but maybe Hank’s concern was needed. He had been drinking too much. It wasn’t just a drink or two to unwind, he knew he had gone through three bottles in three nights.

It felt like he was unlearning everything and just falling right back into old habits the longer he hung around his counterpart. He may have been everything great about that man but that man was everything bad about him. His addictions, his pettiness, his selfishness it was like being someone else and watching his own shitty behavior every time the man opened his mouth.

Malcom’s words were still stinging and the truth behind them was, he was right. He was just as manipulative as Jonas had ever been and he hated it.

The real question was which Rusty was worse, the one who was openly a bad person and almost proud of it or the one who was quieter about his shitty behavior? Hiding the worse parts of himself and painting on a friendlier face?

He was just drunk enough now to really think too much on the subject and hate himself more for it. The perfect mood to enter a bad situation on.

He paused at the entrance of the panic room, it was open and he could see Brock towering over his double, hands on his hips and even though he couldn’t see his face he knew his glare. It was so odd seeing these things from the outside looking in, it was like an out of body experience. His own cocky self-confident smile tilted up towards Brock, their mannerisms identical as he sat in one of the extra chairs from the den. Maybe if he had more hair, they could pass as identical twins. Fool friends and foes alike, Rusty Venture finally perfected cloning like his father always wanted him to.

“I’m only being easy on you because you are him,” Brock sighed, exasperated as always dealing with a Venture, “You would already be dead if you were anyone else.”

“I would say I’m flattered,” his double began sharing the same glower as he was wearing being compared to him by his husband, “But we aren’t that similar.”

“You both can say that but I don’t see any huge differences.”

Rusty found himself bristling at those words, but to his surprise his double wasn’t angry at all. The smug smile dropped into a frown, he almost looked sad. Like he couldn’t believe those words. 

“You really think we are so similar?”

“Not that either of you will admit it,” Brock grunted and Rusty found himself quickly hiding against the door way as he looked behind him.

Maybe he should just leave, he could just go back to the bedroom to wait for Brock, he had this handled. He didn’t even know why he came down here, he was being stupid. He was being jealous. Of what he didn’t know, it was such an odd feeling being jealous of yourself.

As luck would have it, he just didn’t turn and leave fast enough. Just as the thought entered his mind that he had nothing to really fear from Brock and his evil twin being alone together did it crash and burn in a sea of fiery anger.

The other him, the pig of a man he was, wrapped one of his slender arms around his Brock’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Rusty was frozen in place, waiting for Brock to push him away in disgust and tell him he had a husband but that never happened. 

He felt his fists tightening at his side as Brock didn’t stop to shove him away, he just let him deepen the kiss. 

Maybe he should have thought through his actions more then he did but Thaddeus ‘’Rusty’’ Venture had never been one for thinking through his actions. Every action was just a leap of faith he took without thought attached, that either lead to success or tackling yourself the second they pulled away from your husband. Not the smartest move in hindsight.

If you asked him later how he dodged past his husband to wrap his hands around his twin’s neck, slamming him on the floor, he would just assume it was pure luck. Maybe the surprise of it all.

It was almost cathartic to finally take his anger out on himself without the use of substances, without getting with people he shouldn’t be with, without harming anyone he loved with his self destructive tendencies. No just strangling himself with almost no negative effects on his own mind or body, it was thrilling.

His other self was not one to just let himself win, maybe he carried just as much or even more self-hatred then him, he didn’t hesitate to go right to yanking his hair like they were in some kind of school yard fight.

Soon enough they were both strangling each other, rolling across the floor, fighting for dominance, both determined to make one less Rusty Venture in this universe.

But two Rusty’s giving it their all to eradicate each other were nothing to Brock.

Easy as yanking apart two magnets, even still trying to reconnect yanking at each other, Brock threw his husband out giving him a glare that guaranteed he was in trouble later as he slammed the door shut behind him to clean up the mess he had caused.

Rusty picked himself off the hallway floor and retreated, maybe nursing himself up with a bottle of booze to help mend his wounded pride before passing out.


	7. Chapter 7

Rusty couldn’t remember a time in his life where he didn’t feel this way, this deep desire to take things he considered his own and hoarding them. Keeping them close and not wanting to share, he had no reason to share what was his. Especially when it came to things he considered his emotionally. His secrets, his love, his hate and the people attached to those feelings all belonged to him in some way and he never wanted anyone to take that and leave him hollow again.

It always circled back to his childhood and who Jonas Venture had made him to be, he had given therapy a try, but you couldn’t change who you were created to be.

He was a failed clone of Jonas and that was something he could never change. That was just who he was born to be.

He changed a little while, then it was right back to being as selfish as he started out, he could put the blame solely on his counterpart and the strange feelings he gave him but this one was on him. He did this to himself and always had. Malcom was right. He was hurting people with his impulsive actions. He was Jonas, might as well own it.

He looked over the edge of the building and smiled faintly down at the city, he owned this city. His image was on half the billboards, he had clawed his way to the top and knocked his own father out of a position of power to get here, gleefully.

He glanced over at Tophet Tower, just staring at the large T glowing brightly in the distance almost drowning everything else out in the dark. He climbed on top of the edge getting a better view of Chester Ong’s grand pool area he sometimes found himself envying but didn’t want to seem like a copy cat making his own, squinting harder trying to make it out without the aid of his binoculars he often spied on his neighbor with. He could almost imagine the mob boss rolling his eyes at his drunk antics, his dramatic nemesis nearly killing himself looking down on the city he owned after having another relapse remembering a part of his life once buried, what else was new.

He sat on the ledge, just realizing he had lost one of his shoes somewhere between the scuffle with himself, being banned from the bunker by his angry husband and rushing up here. Lazily, he lifted his foot up enough to take off his remaining designer shoe, holding it in his hand a moment taking in its fine details right down to his initials engraved in the tongue in fancy golden font before dropping it down to the empty street bellow him.

It seemed genius at the time but now he just realized he had ruined an overpriced shoe when he could have just easily got the other from Brock.

He jumped a little feeling strong, warm arms wrap around him but just settled into them knowing it couldn’t be anyone else but Brock.

“Yer just full of stupid decisions tonight,” he said gently against his ear and Rusty didn’t need to turn around to see the large frown on his face.

“I’m drunk,” he answered like that could make up for everything he did.

“Be a bit more creative with your excuses,” he said firmly tightening his hold on him as he began to shake.

“I’ve always wanted to beat the shit out of myself, how did I do?”

Brock’s snort tickled his neck making him giggle, leaning closer to the man who as always held him steady keeping him from plummeting backwards on his own ass.

“You are both pathetic, all talk both of you, that was the saddest shit I have ever seen. That was a million times more pathetic then the time I had to yank Dean off Hank’s weird friend.”

“What ever happened to Dermott? He hung around here like all the time and then he just disappeared…”

Brock made that noise in the back of his throat that made Rusty frown, but he didn’t push it. He didn’t know why he brought up Hank’s old friend at all if he didn’t want to talk about him. He didn’t care, let Brock have his little secrets, as long as one of them wasn’t he was attracted to anyone else Rusty just couldn’t find the energy to investigate further. He had to live with enough sorrow in his life time from people he should have been able to trust, he never wanted his anchor to sanity to ever fall from grace in his eyes.

He fought so hard to get this man to notice him back, to be loved by him, he didn’t care what he did. Maybe he was a little wounded that he didn’t even try to knock another man away when he kissed him, but another part of him didn’t care. As long as he never left him. He ran his hand over Brock’s arm, he would do anything for Brock to not be cross with him, even being nicer to an inferior version of himself.

“Do you want me to apologize?”

Brock didn’t respond, pulling him closer placing a kiss on his temple making him frown he had no idea what was going on. When Brock was mad at him, he usually didn’t show him this sort of affection, usually giving him the cold shoulder for being an ‘idiot’.

“I want you to stop being you and go back to therapy, I think this event opened some old wounds.”

Rusty didn’t say anything, looking down towards the street bellow them, squinting as hard as he could trying to find his fallen shoe. It was impossible to see from up this high just like Rusty’s gratitude Brock cared about him, he wasn’t ready to show it. Not yet, Brock had always loved his spoiled rich boy routine anyway. He wanted to act petty tonight and act childish about something that was going to be done regardless.He would do anything for Brock and he knew that, but he wanted to give him a little bit of a hard time. His own little pay back for him kissing that pig of a man back.

“Are you going to tell Hunter about this if I don’t?” he scoffed stretching back into his husband’s hold and making him work to keep him balanced as he stretched out his leg, showing off his missing shoes.

“I don’t know why and the nerd squad think you can hide things from her, she already knows.”

Rusty scowled hard turning his head up enough to meet his husband in the eyes.

“You were letting me panic when you knew she already knew about the evil me hanging around!”

Brock said nothing, giving him his best shit eating grin before sweeping him off the ledge making him cry out in alarm and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes knowing he hated to be carried like this. He smacked his husband as hard as he could on back, knowing full well it would leave no damage, glaring at Tophet Tower as he was forced inside. He could only imagine the crime boss snickering and making fun of him with his right hand man, spying on him like he always spied on him.


	8. Chapter 8

When Rusty was much younger, long before he had a Brock in his life to make him feel special, he only had Don Fitzcarraldo. He only had one person he knew loved him and thought of him as a person and not an item you could sell and trade and break and glue back together when it was convenient. He had always loved him and was always the father he needed even when it was hurting his other family to stay in contact with Jonas just to be with him.

He remembered Malcom’s claim he was just hurting him, he was no better then his other father always doing this shit. Always making more problems.

The Orb situation, joining Spinx and now hiding in his home not contacting anyone selfishly wanting to keep the blame off himself.

He hadn’t called him since he started dealing with Spinx almost five months ago knowing his adopted father wouldn’t approve and he missed him. He couldn’t deal with the whole being nice to himself thing until he found some inspiration to do that in the man he still loved most, even more then Brock and that was hard to believe.

It was late in the evening, but he knew his dad was up, he was always up. His sleeping schedule almost as sporadic as his own, his dreams just as plagued with Jonas Venture as his own were.

He looked at the well maintained, expensive desk the stacks of paper work neatly tucked into a corner, he would need to eventually get to those but he just didn’t have the energy to jump through red tape to get some of those projects off the ground.

He stared at his dad’s number, shaking finger over the dial button. He didn’t know if he wanted to bother him, all his bravado was gone now.

Taking a deep breath, he slammed his finger down on the dial button, holding his breath through the series of rings finally letting it when he heard him answer.

He didn’t say anything at first, considering just hanging up not sure if he could tell him anything now, but couldn’t take the phone from his ear when he firmly said his name with a sigh.

“Rusty,” he repeated gently, “I already know, Malcom was over here earlier this week, it seemed you two got into a fight.”

“It wasn’t much of a fight,” Rusty finally sighed tilting back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling, “He was right.”

“No, he wasn’t, Rust,” Don said voice raising enough to break through the static of anxiety buzzing in his head, “You are my son too. You are not anything like that man. You do stupid things sometimes Rust, but you aren’t Jonas and Malcom was wrong to even imply that.”

Rusty felt a smile crack at his father’s reassurance despite the lump building in his throat.

So many years ago, this man saved him. He saved him from a life of forever being bitter and hateful like the man in his panic room. He wondered what it would have been like having to live with Jonas after the worst day of his life, after being used to the breaking point. After he tried to escape his life through death...

“Are you doing Ok?”

He didn’t know how to answer him, finally letting out his small choked sob. He could picture him now, already putting on his jacket ready to head all the way over here, traveling an hour just because he knew he wasn’t ok.

“I’m alright,” he choked out trying in vain to snort back the tears that weren’t stopping. He had been holding back the stress and anger and worries so long, it only figured he would let his tears fall for the man he felt the most comfortable around. The man who was always here to catch him when he fell. 

“Oh my little wonder,” he sighed out, “You aren’t.”

He didn’t feel forty-three anymore, he felt thirteen, clinging tightly to this man begging him not to leave him alone with Jonas anymore. Desperately asking why he left him so long with him.

He tugged his sleeve feeling the familiar ghost pains from the scars on his wrists sucking down another sob and throwing his glasses across the desk, scrubbing at his eyes a little harder wishing desperately for the tears to stop. He didn’t know how he would explain this to his sons or Brock if they walked in now.

“I’m not,” he choked out to his dad, “I hurt you daddy, I hurt Malcom, I hurt my family like he did---"

“Thaddeus,” his father said firmly, “You are a little old to be crying like this. We make mistakes, horrible ones, we don’t always think things through, but you know what we do?”

“We fix them,” Rusty said choking back his sob and glancing towards the door hoping no one was up to see him like this. 

“That’s what separates us from Jonas,” his father told him firmly, “We fix what we did wrong.”

“Yer smart baby,” his father sighed, “Always have been. Ya were fixing my machinery when you were eight, I think you can manage to figure out a sorry is all it takes sometimes to get through to yer thick headed brother.”

“I wish a sorry could fix my other problems….” Rusty grumbled glancing towards the door, silently hoping no one was up and ready to walk in on him like this.

“A sorry isn’t going to solve everything,” his father chuckled, “Its just a start and maybe it’s the start you need for your other problem too.”

“How is saying sorry to myself going to solve anything?” he grumbled before sighing loudly, wondering if his father even knew that or just thought he was talking about his current mental state.

“Malcom told me about your other problem,” he paused and Rusty could practically see his sad look, “Your life hasn’t been easy, our life wasn’t easy because of the mess Jonas left us in and I doubt his has been easy either. You have always been stubborn, the only way to break your shell has always been a little bit of kindness. Be nice to yerself Rust and I guarantee you will get more done.”

Rusty glanced over at the photos lining his desk, staring straight at the picture of his father holding his grandsons, a proud smile on his face.

“I miss the boys, I think I will come down in a few days,” he smiled, his father was out right telling him he was coming over to knock some sense into him if the problem was still here and still meandering in self-pity instead of getting in work done when he got there. His father was the kindest man he knew but he knew how to get the job done. 

Maybe he was the reason he and Malcom were so hard headed and maybe it had nothing to do with Jonas.


	9. Chapter 9

It was rare Rusty got to see the sunrise, he was usually passed out in bed at this time.

It was chilly enough that he was hoping the smoke wafting from his cigarette would be confused with the early morning fog settling but well, he wasn’t lucky enough to have any quite that naïve in his life.

He pulled his fresh cup of coffee closer to him as he leaned closer to the edge of his bedroom balcony wall, wrapping his fingers around the cup to take some of the chill away, glancing over the edge watching the early morning traffic pass by.

Today was the day, the day he was going to be nice to himself. He wasn’t giving himself any liquid courage for this task, so just a cup of coffee and a quick smoke would do.

“Dean is gonna kill you,” he heard Brock chuckle behind him making him smile as he grabbed onto him, kissing him on the back of the neck.

“Its your stash, your fault daddy is going to get lung cancer,” he responded coyly, playfully blowing a puff of smoke into Brock’s face.

Brock stole the rest of cigarette from him with little resistance from Rusty who just continued to watch the traffic pass by them.

He raised his eyebrow feeling his husband easily pulling his robe open, resting his large hand at the entrance of his pajama bottoms, poking one of his fingers inside as he began gently placing kisses down his neck, making his smile widen as he playfully nipped at the nape of his neck.

Rusty wasn’t usually up after his morning jogs and well, he had always been a little frisky when he was full of adrenalin. A smug smile settled on his lips as he felt something hit his back.

Gently he pushed his husband away and despite being a little dismayed, he let him pass by him to go back into their bedroom.

“I never said I wasn’t mad about you just kissing another man,” he called behind him, that loud annoyed sigh was music to his ears.

“It was you Rust,” he heard Brock groan loudly in his direction.

“You said you wanted me to forgive myself, so that means my anger is on you,” he called back cheekily as he slammed the bathroom door shut. Taking up all the hot water wasn’t exactly an abnormal thing he did but he wanted to be childish for a little while longer.

\---

After he had been taken away from Jonas by his other dad after he had finally gone too far, he never felt he could fit in with the Fitzcarraldos. He knew Malcom well enough but he had only played with him during parties when he had to be at his best or risk Jonas’s ire. He didn’t really know how he would react to his flaws or the negative feelings he always had to hide.

He was almost afraid to be around his dad’s wife, he feared she hated him. He was the reason her husband spent so much time away from his real family and stayed with Jonas. 

Don knew he was afraid but always told him if he could make it through breakfast with them, he could make it through any family activity.

It was odd being the one to decide to do it with himself, it was a nice way to break the ice back then though, so maybe it would work now.

He didn’t normally eat breakfast, hadn’t since college, cup of coffee was all he could afford to get anywhere on time most days. He could get up earlier people told him but he wasn’t about to start doing that.

He wasn’t going to make anything big or special just, something simple. He liked pancakes well enough and for once he wasn’t being selfish just making what he liked, Brock told him the other him had the same apatite as him when he explained what he was doing to him after a very long shower. 

Brock helped him carry the food down to the panic room but Rusty brought the tray of food in by himself, kicking the door shut with his foot in his husband’s face making the other him jump as he entered the area.

His other-self looked as ragged and tired as he felt, his borrowed sleep cloths wrinkled from probably tossing and turning. Rusty was already feeling pity for him, he knew nightmares too well and he had done nothing to ease them.

Yes, he had attempted to murder him, his first thought entering this world was to kill him but Rusty had to remind himself he wasn’t the first Thaddeus ‘’Rusty’’ Venture who had the thought he shouldn’t exist. This might not even be about them being the same person and that being the root of their antagonism for each other.

His father had been a vigilante for years and he always stressed to him he wanted to help people and how important it was to do that. He had ignored what was right just to be petty for things out of both of their control and it needed to change.

To apologize straight away would be fake and not Rusty’s style and he doubted it was the other him’s style either, so with grace he sank into the two seater table on the other side of the room and waited for himself to join him.

He stayed where he was in bed, going back to his book, one of Dean’s old detective books, he had no idea how that had gotten down here but didn’t want to question it too much. 

“You have some damn nerve,” the other him finally snap snapped the book shut and rising from his spot marching towards him. He said nothing, using all his strength to keep his composer, ready to let the other him yell all the abuse he wanted at him. He probably deserved it. He knew him, he wasn’t going to let go of the anger until he got it out, so he just allowed it.

“You treat me like your god damn prisoner for days, you god damn attack me last night and you think I’m just going to have breakfast with you!”

“I know me,” Rusty said with a shrug and award winning smile that barely contained his sad, guilty eyes, “I am expecting it. I’m too used to be kidnapped and all that.”

He didn’t say anything else, his nostrils flaring looking so much older without his glasses somehow, probably just as broken about being around another him this long as him and it was showing.

“If it makes you feel any better, you can take a free swing at me, I probably deserve it, I really haven’t been helping.”

The other him looked tempted to take the offer but instead growled in defeat sitting across from him. It was so sad how docile a Rusty Venture was at being captive, too used to it to care at this point.

They sat in silence a moment, both just taking the other in. One feeling guilt wondering how he came to this point, what kind of stress could make his hair fall out like that. The other almost envious taking in his designer cloths, head full of hair and just staring longingly at his sparkling wedding band.

“Look we don’t like each other,” the other snorted at that, his bald head bobbing as he sank his teeth into the food.

“We were just born and raised to not love ourself or any other version,” Rusty seemed to have the other’s attention both staring at each other.

“But listen, there is an easier way of getting rid of another you then murdering the other….”

He paused, finding he had already forgotten the script he had wrote and rehearsed in his head in the shower.

“Fine, whatever, I want out of your asshole dimension and if that means a truce, whatever.”

Rusty smiled genuinely at himself at that, it was a start.

\--

Much later, Pete and Billy would be surprised to find them in the lab actually working together. Bickering at each other, naturally but not trying to do each other harm as they had been doing.

It was a step in the right direction despite their rocky start, one step closer to learning to trust yourself after years of learned self-hatred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may come back for a sequel in canon Rusty's POV just cause I really love this story and I hope you guys did too ;.;


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